Toting Tugac

I Toting Tugac ing pecamaulit at masias dili buntuc caring micacapatad. Mailig iang mamasial dili na. Andiang bengui na, tatacas ia.


Minsan a bengui, asaganan ne I Pipoy Panas.


“Maiap a bengui, Pipoy!” nga’anang Toti queng queiang caluguran. “Nucarin ca munta? Ot icang dili?”


“Maiap a bengui mu naman, Toti!” nga’nang Pipoy. “Mitauli cu caring caiabe cu. Atin caming baiung
pidatucanang pamangan. Munta cu carin.”


“Maliari cung tuqui? Bisa cung mamasial,” nga’nang Toti.


“Ua sigue, ban ‘ta atin cu rin acaiabe uli’ng malaut mu rin ita,” paquibat nang Pipoy.


Masaia lang mipapagcuentung meco dening micaluguran.


“O ren na reng caiabe mo, Pipoy, acaquit cu na la. Calapit mu pala!”


“Catalic mu caiang lucsu, Toti! Mepagal cu pin e,” a nang Pipoy. “Tara, paquilala da ca caring aliua cung caiabe.”


Pequilala neng Pipoy i Toti careng caluguran na. Caibat igcat de i Toti a lungub quing baiu dang bodega.


“Casanting pala queni. Marimla at mediu madalumdum. Alang istorbu,” a nang Toti.


“Lacuan da ca pa ne, Toti,” a nang Pipoy, “ Sumaup cu pang manacut.”


“Ua sigue, Pipoy,” paquibat nang Toti, “Pasialan que ing paligid ning quecaiung bodega.”


Meco ne i Pipoy at i Toti naman migsamula neng maglaue-laue quing queiang paligid. Malati ia mu ing lugal. Oneng, malati la reng panas ania para carela, maragul ne pin naman ing lugal. Pero para cang Toti, malati ia mu. Ania sinaguli, apasialan ne ing palibut ning bodega.


Pagtacan ne ing maragul at mabilug a bage quing libutad na ning bodega. Andiang nanan neng isipan, e ne balu nung nanu ia ita.


Magtaca ia uli’ng dacal ia busbus ing mabilug a bague. Aliua-aliua la dagul. Sinilip ia quing metung a busbus i Toti. Ala iang iquit a laman. Aisip nang manintun dalan ban ‘ta macalub ia.


Dirutan ne ing mabilug a bague. Mecapansin iang busbus a mediu maragul oneng matas baguia. Uli’ng bisa ia taganang milub, macatapilan ia sinubuc lucsu ban ta mu milub ia.


Quing capat a pamagtangca na, aiabut ne ing busbus. Linsut ia at menacbag quing quilub ning mabilug a bageng macalibutad quing bodega da reng panas.


“Ala pin taganang laman. Cabud mung mabilug. E man pante ing lapag. Nanu ia caia ini?” a nang Toti quing sarili na.


Uling mepagal ia, migpainaua ia pa mu i Toti. Mipaidlip ia.


Bigla ia mung meguising aniang atin digpa caiang maian a bague. Macatatlu ia mituran.


Mitambunan ia. Baiu no pa alaco deng macatambun caia, bigla iang ginalo ing mabilug a bague. E ia milaco quing pangatambun na. E ia macalucsung palual.


Ing mabilug a bague, dudurut ia! Mabagal quing samula oneng bibilis, bibilis ia! I Toting Tugac, a mitambunan, e ne migalo quing salusu ning pamandurut ning apuntalan nang lugal.


“Mate na cu iata. E cu casi maquiramdam careng pengari cu e. Dapat tiqui que i coia cu. Hu-hu-hu!” mangagang sasabian nang Toti quing queiang sarili.


Calabas ning pilan minutu, cala-calale iang tinucnang quing pamandurut oneng ing iatu nang Toti, anti ia pa mu ring dudurut. Maliliu ia at e ia migalo. Andiang aniang milaco na la reng macatambun caia, e ne pa mu rin agalo ing catauan na.


Aniang milaco ne ing tauling macatambun, dindam ne ing bosis ning metung a anac a ginulisac, “Tugac! Atin tugac quing drier!”


“Nano?!” ana naman ning bosis babai, “Ot e mu pamu nilaue baiu mo quebit deng pundang ulun? Mete ia? Mengapusit ia?”


“E cu pu apansin e,” nga na ning anac. “Bapa, sopan na pung ilaco ia ing tugac. E ia pu gagalo. Cabud ia mu pung macatalanga.”


“Mabie cu pa,” a nang Toti quing isip na. “Patie milual cu queni, agad cung lucsung malaut.”


Oneng aniang miatia ia quing gabun, e ia pa mu rin migalo. Sibucnan nang linucsu. E ia man milaco quing lugal na. Pilit neng susubucnang ibaba ing buntuc na. E ia naman bisang mamintu ing buntuc na. Buri nong culaitan deng capatad na. Oneng balu nang e re dandaman uling malaut ia.


Catacut nang Toti. Maiap na mu itang anac e ne calupa reng aliuang anac a mapamusit. Pepaburen nia mu i Toti. E ne pemialungan o gelauan mu man.


Caibat na ning e na balu nung nuanti cacabang oras, mimasmas ia i Toti.


Minuli ia at sinabi na quing sarili na, “E na cu lumaut pasibaiung ala caiabe”.

babai

anac

apu

pangunacan

uali

atsi

caquialung

disipulus

caclasi

caiagum

caiabe

quing obra

quing pisamban

quing comunidad

caiantabe

palsintan

caluguran

asaua

cabangal

manuiang

indu

catuangan

ápû

anac

manganac

a penganac

ning menganac

lalang

a lalalang

a lelang

ning talalalang

taguiang

ia ibatan

at ia naman

ing taguiang

ding sablang

taguiang

queng salamin

ia ing asque

ning lalaqui

babai

Salilungang Meuala Quing Camulangan

Manibat quing ibat, buri cu la reng mangacuiad a poesia. Poesiang gagamit ditac amanu oneng malaman, macabaldugan. Poesiang dirinan na cung maliualas a lugal nung nucarin maliaring mamialungan ing canacung panimanman.


Mainip cung mamasang mangacabang poesia lalus na nung balic-balic na mu ampo cucuentu na ing e gana-gana. Ala nang melacuan para quing mamasa. Balu cu naman a atin poesiang cailangan macaba. Anti na mo quing Inferno nang Dante. O caia ing Tarik Soliman nang John S. Manalili. Oneng deng aliuang atataquiran cu, pacacaba de pa andiang capaliari naman misulat macuiad.


Patungcul naman quing rima ampo sucad, ua, maniaman lang paquiramdaman deng macarima ampo masanting babasan patie macasucad. Anti cang duduian patie macanian ia pangacudta. Oneng para canacu, macasaua mu rin nung puru na mung macanian.


Ining Impun nang Apung Kragi Garcia ing mecaracap atensiun cu quing librung Tuglung. Aliu ia careng caraclan a ababasa cung cudtang Capampangan. Aliua ia porma, ala iang tequiquian rima o sucad. Mangacuaid a linia, ning minsan, metung mung amanu. Ditac a amanu, dapot asnang caracal reng larauan ampo capanandamang linto't memialung quing isip ampo pusu cu.


Macuiad oneng icua cu ing buong cuentu manibat quing minunang pamiquit anga quing pamicauani. Ing caiang pamanaus salilungan quing caiang palsintan agad nang minaplus quing canacung pusu. Tambing nilub quing isip cu ing Sanctuary nang Calla Lily at bala mu bigla queng dindam tinigtig cabang babasan que ing poesia.

"You are my light,

you are my home,

you are my sanctuary.

You are my peace,

you are my hope,

you are my sanctuary."

"Bayung pamalsinta.

Pamangaybugan mu kaya?"

Menaquit iang aliuang palsintan ania micasira la ning caiang salilungan? Ania meualan iang cabaldugan ing Impun? Ania macanita neng inari ing poesia?

"Mamulang ku.

Asnang kamulang!"

Oita ing masaquit quecatamung tau. Quing mumuna, asna tamung calalam lugud. Quing pamaglabas ning panaun at quinampa na ing mumunang silakbo ning capanandaman, ot anang calaguang manaquit baiung mamieng sigla't tula? Reng canitang mangalating bage a e naman taganang caiatu-atu, magui iang maragul a problema. Micucumpara ia quing pamanugali ning baiung palsintan. Tambing iang mitatambunan deng bagueng liguran tamu quing minunang palsintan pauli na namu ning licas a tula't lingapngap a darala ning baiung pamalsinta.


Ot e tamu dinan lingapngap ampo baiung sigla ing casalucuian a relasiun? Ot e tamu dinan oras ampo pusu ing pamanisip paralan ban canita ing sigla't tula e mimin? Ot mas dirinan tamung oras ing pamaniese't pamangambul quing baiung caquilalang balu tamu naman a maliaring muli quing pamalsinta? (Ot pilit tamung lalapitan ing api, ta gamu-gamo tamu?) Pamalsintang ali istu uling panasaquitan tamu capandaman at paglocuan tamu ing taung minunang minie tiuala't lugud quecatamu.


Casumangid na nini, atin macasambitlang, "geua cu ne ing egana-gana ba caming misalese oneng ala na taganang maliari, ala na ing respetu, ala na ing lugud." O e di, sulung! Micauani caiu pang masalese baiu manintun baiung sinta ban canita alang midamusac, alang maparalis.


Quing camatutuan, balu cung dacal pang mialiuang sangcan, mialiuang circumstances ania e tagana maliari ing micacauani. Ania atin at atin mumusbung macanian a relasiun. Nung sanang aiuasan, iuasan. Nung macapaglarin, larinan. Oneng aliua nang pisasabian ita quesa quing buri nang ipaiabut ning poesiang ini. Dapot taganang carin mu rin miras ing pisasabian a ini.


Ing masaquit, mipaquiapus tamu quing bida ning poesiang ini uling penusigan tamu ing caburian tamung mamialungan quing baiu ampo casalucuian a sinta, at quing catataluian aquit tamung ing tune lugud ia pin ing quecatamung impun at pamangaibugan mu pin ing quecatamung pipagtampison. Quing catataulian, tauli na pin man. Meaula ne ing quecatamung salilungan.


Camulangan pin.

Impun

nang Kragi Garcia

Impun.

Ika.

Salilungan.

Mumunang pamikit.

Timang mendatila.

Bakas namu.

Lalabul ing angin.

Mamagus ing danum.

Lumang dalit.

Bayung sunis.

Lawiwi ya naman.

Lagyu mu.

Sadyang mikaluguran.

Bayung pamalsinta.

Pamangaybugan mu kaya?

Panalala…

palibutan na

ing mayumu mung lupa.

Impun.

Alang kabaldugan.

Sadya.

Matwa ya mung impun.

Sagiwang panalala.

Ika.

Impun.

Buri kung sabyan.

Mamulang ku.

Asna kamulang!

Manibat iquit que ining cautasan aini quing librung Tuglung II, miabe ia careng paburitu cu. Balic-balican queng babasan, a-memorize cu ne pin iata e. Ngeni cu pa micasican lub isulat ing panandaman cu patie babasan que ini. Panupaia careng e mamaiun careng asambitla cu quing babo. Paganaca que mu pu, pansarili cu pung capandaman ian.

uran at anguin

uran.

deng tugac, memaglual.

deng bibi, memandilu.

sisi’t aiup, memanialilung.

anguin.

deng sanga, uauasiuas.

deng bulung, mengalagas.

bungang-tanaman, mengabalag.

anguin, uran,

e iu pacasican.

e iu pandalasan.

catamtaman mu sa.

Cupidung Mulala

Maniampucaquing lugud. Macapangaplus careng pusung maua quing maiumung lugud.

Lugud a baual, lugud a alang cararasan. Lugud a macagulu, lugud a macasira.

"Nung magsilbi mu sa cacu iang calagan
Pusu mung mitali quilub ning pisamban"

Quing mumuna pang parapu, macalto nang talasaua ing daraunan nang lugud. Ot baquit pepaburen na pang lugud iang anti canini quing metung a taung baiu ne pa man aquilala, macatali na?

"Agaua cu caiang gamat mung tatarian
Aliua ing caia nuneyng cacung uanan
Mapaliari caia na cacu lang uman
Malutu mung labi a maiumu timan"

Caiumu na pin ning midadaun a lugud. Andiang ninung babai, siguradung mabalag. Pamitan a ablas a lugud, malaguang acamtan. Oneng ing mesabing babai, macatali ne. Ot pepaburen na pang magbusal ing queiang lugud?

Quing panaun iti, caracal a cuentu ning macanian, miraras pa e mu quing pamicauani da reng miasaua nune pati pangasira ning bie da reng anac ra. Atin mu naman a sinaguling milalaco quing uastung uisiu ania acacua rang apanasaquitan o apate reng carelang meliling cabangal quing bie.

Balu da nang ali ia macatuliran ing anti'tang situasiun, ot luban ia pa? Ot e na pa subucan larinan ing dapat larinan. Nung ala nang taganang solusiun, ot e na mu misabi, micasundu, desisiunan ing masaleseng pamicauani baiu luban ing panibaiung relasiun?

Sadia bang masaquit gulutan ing tucsu?

"Dapat ing catutuan ena mapalitan
E ca maguing cacu capilan man"

Miguising ne man pala quing catataulian. Simap. Oneng asnang calagua ing maniabi quesa quing daraptan. Pepaburen na neng lugud ia, e mu cabud mamanga. Malambat mu rin ing prosesu ning pamangalinguan. Masaquit at masaquit. O'bat pa casi pepainabu quing (balon o kaya ravine).

Saguli. Atin iatang mecalinguan.

Ana pa nitang luluguran? Lulugud ia naman caia queia? Ali man iata e. Pebalu ne caia? Nanu mo caia ing pequibat na?

Matinatinang mananaimic ing pamibie-bie, ot nanung misamutanan ia? Ing lulugud, megulu ia isip ampo pusu. Nung pepabaluan ne ing queiang luluguran, meistorbu ia naman - lulugud ia man o ali queia.

Maimung pangamanu. Maiumung lugud. Mulalang lugud.

Taganang i Cupidung aini, asnang capamuisit.



*****************

agaua cu caia
rodel gozum

Nung magsilbi mu sa cacu iang calagan
Pusu mung mitali quilub ning pisamban
Nung ing milabas sa agiu cung balican
Dacal la ring bague buri cung alilan.

Abalic cu caia danum a minagus
Maluat ng milayi quing daiat tinaglus
Ding aldo at bulan,banuang mengapupus
Magbalic la kaia nung iacu ing maus?

Agaua cu caiang melagas a bulung
Tunggal-tunggal balic quing sanga ding impun
Mapaliari caiang ing paspas ning alun
Balic co quing daiat pati na ing napun?

Agaua cu caia na icata mu pa
Ding micurus dalan baiu icong adua
Mapaliari caiang ing macabalu pa
Quing lagiu mu iacu at aliua ia sa?

Agaua cu caiang gamat mung tatarian
Aliua ing caia nuneyng cacung uanan
Mapaliari caia na cacu lang uman
Malutu mung labi a maiumu timan?

Agaua cu caiang cacu iang palitan
Ining misnang pait a casalucuian
Mapaliari caiang iacung quecang caulan
At cacu ilapat ing quecang catauan?

Agaua cu caiang iacu ing dinan mu
Quing tune mung lugud a paninapan cu
Maliari pa caiang iacung caiabe mu
Angga quing mapupus ing sabla quing iatu?

Dapot ing catutuan ena mipalitan
E cu na abalic ing mengalabasan
Dapat cung tanggapan ing casalucuian
E ca maguing cacu masqui capilan man.

Ca Rodel Gozum, aini ing comentu cu. Cuculitan mu cung mamie comentu careng angang cautasan mung papasquil mu quing dalig cu, oneng ali tamu naman apilit ing metung a taung mamie comentu nung ali ia bisa, e uari? Oneng ban canita ala na ca rugung asabi canacu, aini na. Mipacaba mu pin. E cu mag-critique uling e na cu man expert careng tecnicalidad da reng poesia. At e cu poeta, magsasa-poeta cu mu rugu. Ania ining sinulat cung ini, reacsiun que mu quing abasa cu. Quits ta na?

duldul, uran

duldul, duldul!

mamaquirut na ca na naman.

sulung, pamiglan mu mu naman,

anac a magtudtudtudturan.

uran, uran!

macataquiqui ia 'man canian.

manugtug tanaman 'po gabun.

reng alang paiung, liuasuasan.

uran, duldul!

o'bat ning misan,

(e co sabi ne?)

cauani naman.

duldul, uran!

uran, duldul!

casungit da 'man.

padigsu-digsu.

datangan, lacuan.

duldul, uran!

duldul, duldul!

isundu pamamieng babala.

bang canita macapag-adia,

quing paniatang - masican, maina

uran, uran!

uran at anguin

uran.

deng tugac, memaglual.

deng bibi, memandilu.

sisi’t aiup, memanialilung.

anguin.

deng sanga, uauasiuas.

deng bulung, mengalagas.

bungang-tanaman, mengabalag.

anguin, uran,

e iu pacasican.

e iu pandalasan.

catamtaman mu sa.

Apulung Banua

Capat a aldo

Ning ica-limang bulan.

Aduang pulung banua,

Sinaguli milabas.

Aduang pulung banua,

Miragdag quing idad.

Aduang pulung banua,

Ing adua, meging lima.

Aduang pulung banua,

Asadsad.

Misadsad caia,

Aduang pulu pang banua?

Miragdagan siguradu ing lima,

Aduang pulu pang banua.

Agiu ning catauan caia,

Aduang pulu pang banua?

Saguli lumabas,

Aduang pulu pang banua.

Quing ica-limang bulan

Ica-apat a aldo.

Sweet November

Lolling on the couch one lazy afternoon with one mobile phone on each hand, my attention was caught by a scene on the television wherein a lady was called upon by the instructor to turn in her paper because of cheating.
Sara failed the test for a driver’s license because of Nelson, a fellow test-taker.  Sara then pestered Nelson to drive her around and be with her for a month with a promise that she will change his life for the better. Nelson is a typical career guy, someone who doesn’t have the time to “stop-and-smell-the-flowers”, while Sara is someone who embraces and savors life and lives for the present. 

Sara: Just let it happen. Please don’t go.

Nelson: Why?

Sara: Because you know you don’t want to go.

I believe this is the first turning point for Nelson - an unconscious admittance of his feelings for Sara.  Thus, paving the way for a Sweet November. So sweet a month it was indeed that passed for both that Nelson did learn to be more appreciative of life’s little pleasures which brought about the resultant marriage proposal to Sara.


It was hinted that Sara had various “months” somehow making light of her time with Nelson. But it was quickly dispelled with Sara’s words that although she has received other marriage proposals in the past, this is the first time she felt tempted to say yes.  Sara turned down Nelson’s proposal and requested him to leave for November is finished. Unspoken but most important, her days are numbered.


Does imminent death really bring out the best in us? Does the knowledge that we’ll soon be departing this earthly life, make things clearer for us inside? Is that the only time we could see the beauty in simplicity? The only time wherein we could fully embrace life without thinking of society-dictated norms? 


Sara’s choice of a gift for Nelson – and for her too - is the good memories. She preferred having memories of the November love they shared be untainted by sickness and sorrow which her last days will surely bring. She chose to spend her remaining days only within the bosom of her family. 


A day in December to recreate and lengthen the sweet November was staged by Nelson. The room was festooned by November calendars. A declaration that November was all he will ever know, ever want to know. A night again spent in each other’s arms – a bubble of November in December. Daylight came with reality as imposed by Sara.  November, really finished and gone. Only good memories for both, thus goodbye.


Was Sara fair in this decision? Did she not rob Nelson of a chance to continue to show his love and care for her? Would memories of her sick and dying days, really taint the love they share? Should loving consist only of the good times?

“Now turn away, ‘Cause am awful just to see

‘Cause all my hair’s abandoned all my body

Oh my agony

Know that I will never marry

Baby, am just soggy from the chemo

But counting down the days to go.

It just ain’t living and I just hope you know

That if you say goodbye today

I’d asked you to be true

‘Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you”

I prefer the way this song, Cancer, of My Chemical Romance went than the movie. At least in the song, the ill partner may continually bid the other to turn away, but they are together. That is what love is for me. That is what commitment is for me. The good and bad. The joy and sorrow.  As long as there is love to share, breath to live, why leave each other just to spare one or the other sorrow and bear death without your other half.